- Study Love. What? you say, what about positive affirmations and committing to doing better and accountability and driving yourself harder and better, reaching bigger and better results. Yeah, no. Study Love. Find out what it means to you, what it is in the depths of your heart, what it includes and what it doesn’t include. As you may or may not have noticed, these are not 5 steps to getting what you want, these are 5 steps to becoming a better human being. Making the meat suit you live in, worth its value to the rest of the world. So... instead of becoming an expert in becoming more self confident, become a student of love. Become an expert.
- Hold your tongue. If you are thinking about saying something to somebody. Pause, think about what you are about to say and decide if it is reactionary or if it is truly and selflessly helpful. If you can truly say, from the depth of your heart, that your response comes truly from a place of giving, rather than a place of ego, say it. Otherwise, don’t. I try to go by the old validation of “Is it true? Is it necessary to say? Is it Kind?
- Find your authenticity. Notice, I didn’t say practice authenticity. Most of the Western world has no clue what authenticity is. Most people think it’s about honesty and truthfulness and saying what’s on your mind without a filter. Nope. Authenticity is about who you are at your core. Not the image you project to the world, but that oneness that was you when you were first conceived. I know. It sounds very astral and woo-woo, but it’s not. Deep down inside, we are humans, with specific characteristics and responses. Over our lifetime, we have been trained to respond in a way to protect or to “get along with’’ or do whatever was necessary to not sustain damage to the mental, emotional or physical self. Basically, find what you were BEFORE you learned to survive. THAT’S your authentic self. Before you were taught what you need to be by society. Now be that. As often as possible. If that blows your mind, I have specific things you can do to help with that. Reach out and we can talk.
- Question your motives. This is actually part of finding your authenticity, but it’s a concept that I believe stands on its own. Similarly to thinking about what you say, pause and think about what you are doing and why. Why am I doing this? Is it to become a better person, contribute to society or help another human being? Or is it for my own self interest. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t do things for ourselves. I firmly believe in the idea that you can’t help others when you are not taking care of yourself. I mean, put your own oxygen mask on first. But once you have your own mask on, what are you doing to contribute? Are your actions self motivated? Or are they truly, sincerely, and AUTHENTICALLY, other-motivated?
- Trust. Trust that the universe will take care of you, no matter what. Trust that wherever you are, you are right where you are supposed to be on this learning journey. I’m not saying that stuff doesn’t happen, people don’t go homeless, humans aren’t being abused, killed and taken advantage of in the most horrendous ways every day and other humans continue to do it without repercussion. All I’m saying is that we trust that there is a process. If you can help in stopping injustice, PLEASE, do so. Take action, make things better if you can. But if you can’t, don’t get caught up in the minutiae that drags us down and makes us forget that we are part of a greater good. That humanity is only here for a finite amount of time, that the universe is infinite and that we are an unimaginably miniscule piece of it. And that when we are gone, the universe will go on, for trillions of years longer. Trust it will all work out... eventually.
Again, I am not saying that everything that you say, do or think, should be completely ego free. We are humans, we have instincts. One of those is self preservation. What I am saying is that if we start practicing these a little bit. Just the tiniest bit, we will indeed start becoming better human beings. Maybe 3 minutes out of your day. Then you can go back to being a selfish, self centered, ego driven human for the other 23 hours, 57 minutes of the day.